A man who is like a snail…

Write a story about a man who is like a snail.

You cannot use the word “snail” in the story.

He has to be technologically savvy.

He is obsessed with food in some way.

He has the fashion sense of a priest.

He lives in a city that is very flat, and he can walk anywhere if he chooses to do so.

He often compares his life to purgatory.

The other characters he might meet have varying opinions about him.

Those opinions are a mix of his being rich, poor, comfortable, suffering, evil, good and anything else you can imagine.

The story is from his point of view but can be told in any person you wish.

His story must go from a dreary context to a bright one.

The ending must be bittersweet, but without a sense of loss.